BONJOUR.
ⓜ ⓐ ⓡ ⓛ . ⓔ
Chindon Malay.
31st March.
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Tuesday, September 30, 2008.
Let me first begin with sharing how relief I am feeling right now. No seriously, Im very very relief despite having somethings still hanging around, left unspoken. Firstly, I am somehow grateful that I have the support from friends now. I finally have my friends back. Its been a hard period this month for me without them by my side. I know I have no rights to complain about this. But only god knows how relief I am to have them back by my side. Allah have finally answered my prayers. I couldnt believe I could have them back today. Right now. I thought I've lost them along the way of this misunderstanding. I really really thought I was totally ignored by now. I thought I've lost it all. Never thought I could redeem whatever I've lost along way on the journey of this year's Ramadhan. Patience was all it takes. After so long of crying out my sorrows, can I finally cry out of relief, joy and gratefulness? ^_^
But no matter how well I am with the gerls already, the ones who were there for me when I was at my wits end are definitely not forgotten. You cant imagine how appreciation I felt to those caring people. Classmates, random friends online, and certainly, the baristas too. Thankyou everyone, for being such nice people to at least listen to me whine every now and then. Thankyou a million, lovely ones (:
Right after breakfast, I sat down with mom in the kitchen looking at her peeling off prawn's skin. I did not do anything but to just look at her peel those prawns. She didnt allow me to be of any help but just to accompany her in the kitchen was enough. I have the urge to talk to mom. Share something with her since we had the time and attention for each other last night. So I did. Out of randomness. I started with letting her know that this year's fasting month, there's quite a number of challenges for me. COBAAN. Mom asked what kind of challenges. I said school, but most pressure on friends. And I told her from A to Z. I dont know, I might left out part Q or even Y. But I somehow felt better after talking to mom. It was my first 'mother-daughter' heart-to-heart talk about my personal life. Yes, my very first time.
And Im proud of myself for being able to open up the topic to her without hesitating or feeling awkward. 'Cause I knew, that no matter what I went through, no matter how hard the journey to life is, mothers are always the one nearest and closest to your heart, just right after Allah. My voice were shaky while talking to mom. It was sooo obvious. I almost had to stop to avoid crying. But no, I manage to be strong and stay strong throughout the whole conversation with mom without shedding a single drop of tear. *smiles* I know mom somehow sense that I was about to cry since my shaky voice were obviously shaky-shivering. Mom kept quiet and let me do the talk and just, 'uhmm', 'uhhh', 'really?'.. Hahahaa. =D
At last, I feel the sense of stronger-ness in me. Its weird how littlest things change overnight. From being weak at the beginning of the fasting month, to being strong at the end of it. It really puts a smile on my face for being able to pull through this alone. I know I wasnt alone. There were few supporters who supports me from beneath to avoid me from collapsing. No matter how hard I fall, they're always there to help me stand back on my own feet. Thankyou, earthlings *wink*
Its the dawn on the last day of Ramadhan now. *Loooooong silence. Deep in thought.. Sighs* A lot happened this Ramadhan. And I believe all of this happens for a reason. God wanted to test my patience. So be it. I accepted it as a challenge. And I definitely learnt a lot this year. A lot I must say. I've endured a lot too. I wont complain or grouch that all of this happened. In fact, Im glad. Im grateful enough that all of this took place. I'll be very very thankful. Really. Not that I enjoyed the times and hurt I've suffered. But without this happening, would I grow stronger today? Would I know that I could be strong in such situation? Would I ever thought of having things easy always? And not experiencing hardship? Will I be able to overcome the same problem or conflict in future, which of course Im not looking forward to seeing it happening again? *Deep in thought again. Longer this time..*
I guess its time now. Its time for me to leave the not-important and not-urgent matter aside for now. Im left with 20 days to my very first written paper. And 16 days to practical? Damn. This is a major problem. But before I take my leave..
Today is the last day of Ramadhan. And tomorrow goina be the first for Syawal. To every UMAT ISLAM.. (I know this is early but wth.. Hahaha!)
SELAMAT MENYAMBUT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI
MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN.
Hope that my sins were forgiven. All hurt and harm that I've caused, with or without realising, with words and/or actions, please do pardon me. I seek your apologies. I know I have done so many wrongs and mistakes. And its not good to only realise it and apologising during raya only. But also at other times. I seriously want to take this opportunity to repent my wrong doings and mistakes to whomever. I really hope that alls forgiven and soon to forget.
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BABIES BORN.
January
28th - Lee zara colleague
31st - Jacq L02baober cum pang ah lian
Febuary
12th - LATE ?
13th - Ammelia L02baober
23rd - Asidah L02baober cum cockuptwin
21th - Athirr gerlfys
24th - Nisa
March
1st - Mommy cum 'rents anni
2nd - Lala neighbour
11th - Ann kakak ;)
15th - Sufian chongkecik (upgrade)
18th - Phoebe L02
31st - Arziana twinny
31st - YOURS TRULY :DDD
April
17th - Cilong L02
26th - Amira gerlfys
29th - Poh Lay L02
May
16th - Ting Xin L02
26th - Shasha 2nd mei mei
31st - Guan Jie L02
June
16th - Hijjah ej love
24th - Nisah L02
26th - Kai Xin L02baober cum partner
27th - Ying Jie L02
30th - Sofie ? ta jie
30th - Shahiddin
July
5th - Syuuu gerlfys
7th - Shanky ;DDD
13th - Terence ;)))
August
7th - Farlini kak lynn love
14th - Sze Yee L02
19th - Afiqah L02baober cum kak iqah
20th - Kai Yun L02
26th - Keith L02
September
13th - Fatin kidd love
14th - Huda 4e2mate
20th - Yu Sheng L02
21st - Linn 1st mei mei
October
2nd - Derek L02
6th - Shiyi L02baober cum bestfriend
24th - Zura
26th - Gramma 66
November
17th - Hanim gerlfys cum bestie since 3 ;)
19th - Indra
December
12th - Michelle L02baober cum seashell
16th - Adina Tay Ah-Jie
