BONJOUR.

ⓜ ⓐ ⓡ ⓛ . ⓔ

Chindon Malay.
31st March.
Facebook / Hotmail / Birthday

Sunday, August 31, 2008.

Finally! The day I've been waiting for. Where I have to take good care of my mouth, avoiding gossips and talking bad and recite more verses from the Holy-book of Al-Qur'an. Where I have to take good care of my ears, avoid listening to unpleasant stuffs, and listen to bahyan(s) and verses of the Qur'an being recited. Where I have to take good care of my eyes, avoid looking at unpleasant things. Where I have to take good care of my hands, avoid doing unpleasant things too, and do more good deeds. As I think about it, why should I start doing good deeds now? Why only on the fasting month? Shouldnt we do good deeds always? Yeaa maybe thats it. Fasting month made me realize all this. Alhamdulillah. =D

Its the first day of Ramadhan tomorrow. Since Im already here blogging, I might as well say this too. I seek apology to everyone, for any harm or hurt I have caused so far. I might not realized it all along, but still. "Even the companions of Prophet(s.a.w) and the Prophet(s.a.w) himself seek for forgiveness despite them not having any sins. Furthermore some of the companions of Prophet(s.a.w) were already promised paradise." So why not people like me, who must have done far too many sins, seek apology ay? That defintely make sense to me. Alls forgiven to whomever seek my forgiveness, Insya'Allah (:

Tomorrow is not only the first day of the fasting day, but also Teacher's Day. Damn. Hahahaa! I mean why should it fall on a holiday? Its noo fun. Hehh. K nvm. So to all teachers, Happy Teacher's Day. Special thanks to Ms.Joseph, CikguNur, Mrs.Lim, Ms.Yong, Mdm.Suriyani, Mr.Ong, Mrs.Teo and especially Mrs.Yap.

Yes, eventhough Mrs.Yap is currently not my subject teacher anymore. But I was inspired by her during Sec 2. I was grateful for having her as my Math teacher, and still am, feeling grateful. Ever since you taught me, I looked forward to coming to school everyday. I changed my view of coming to school. I used to think that coming to school was just to please my parents. But no. You taught me to be appreciate and grateful being able to attend school. Because for a promising future, we need a good education. And where does good education all start from? School. School is where the future holds. Where I get to meet friends everyday, without feeling sick and tired of seeing the same face. Where friends are those who make me feel so complete. Yes, Mrs.Yap made me realize all this. Ever since 2e3 disappointed her and she gave us a talk. That really got me thinking. And I realized whatever she said made sense.

Since then, I was inspired by her. A lot. And yes yes! I am very happy that she received the Most-Caring Teacher Award! Woooooooo! Congrates Congrates! =D

Dreamt of Indra and someone unexpected last night. Together in the same dream doesnt look so good. Damn. I wonder what it means. Fuck I miss Ind. Damn it I just typed a vulgar here. Hahahaa! Opps. XD

Jokes and facts I've received via SMS so far;

Doa Tahan Puasa

Allahumma baringsana baringsini wasudahlapar wamaumati walihatjam masihlamalagi wacuricurimasukdapur takdapapaa wakenetahanlagi Amin. (God, forgive me. ^^)

Altering akhlak

Sempena Ramadhan yang akan menjelang tidak lama lagi sentiasalah setting niat, upgrate iman, download sabar, upload usaha, delete dosa dan top-up ilmu agar boleh redeem pahala =D

To all Muslimin and Muslimah, brothers and sisters, happy fasting yeaa! Ramadhan is here now that Im looking forward to complete the one month of fasting, Insya'Allah (:

Saturday, August 30, 2008.

Someone have been asking me to update frequently now ay? So here goes, for the handsomeboy.

-______-"

Actually, I would have a new entry before Khai posted his latest one. I deleted the last entry I typed. Everything I said went out the wrong way. It was long though. Five times longer than Khai's post? Hehh.

I have a lot to say. But Im skipping this part coz Im still hunting for the right words. I prolly wont blog about it anyways coz its been weeks now, that I've been thinking of the right words to fit in what Im trying to type out here. Even though I find me best at expressing myself through diaries, blogs and stuffs like this compared to expressing verbally. I still couldnt get the hang of it. Of what is actually happening around me. Like a little kid lost in the woods.

Maybe I've not been opening up my eyes to reality? Or maybe I've not been facing the facts. I think Im running away from everything now, too many times. I cant go on like this. I need to stop running, take a step back, a breather perhaps, and settle things down. One step at a time. Yeaa maybe thats it. I've been telling myself that everything is goina be alright. Eventhough I know when things arent goina be that simple. But hey, looking at the bright side is better than looking glum over things which arent worth whining for. Rather than wasting time thinking of what went wrong, might as well you use that time to think of how to solve the problem. It is much more convenient that way. No use thinking of what went wrong eventhough the objective to do so was to prevent and avoid having the same mistake repeated time and again. But you cant be too certain that the same mistake wont occur twice. Its unpredictable. And yes, it is defintely helpful to have a positive mindsap in a situation as confusing as this. Always think of the positive stuff. And to all, dont forget to smile alright. Coz even when the littlest things in life bothers you, smiling helps a lot. In making you feel as if you've just done a favour for yourself for being able to smile in such siuations. It defintely helps me a lot. So dont forget to smile k people. No dont smile with force. Smile with sincerity. Feel it in your heart. You'll be moved, and touched, by that feeling. Remember, only with sincere smiles are you able to feel it (:

Billiards again, pretty please (:

To friends or just anyone, the fasting month is here. Just two days away. I would like to seek those friends of mine to avoid doing things which arent supposed to be done at times like this. Smoking and drinking especially. Not only would I like you guys to reduce smoking, but stop drinking too. If you ever took this as a nag, go ahead. Assume whatever you guys want to think of. But seriously, I say this because I still care. You'll find me one day stop advicing or so because I've stop caring. And Im sure you guys dont want that to happen right? ^^ So think wisely guys. No. Wait. Dont even have to think. Just avoid them all together, alright. =D

PS: Especially to someone who declares himself as handsomeboy, yes I've updated already. Happy now? Hahahaaa. I miss KIA plus Aim badly. But I cant do anything about it. I just cant.

Can I cry now?

Monday, August 25, 2008.

Saturday's plan to mug in school was a failure even though I did make it to school despite it was raining cats and dogs. Dad offered a ride to school and he picked Athira at Petir. Thankyou, Pa (:
Why are people talking about things which arent true? And asking questions which I dont have to answer coz its so obvious. Im not refering to anyone in particular Im refering to a whole lot. Yeaa, maybe Im taking it too seriously when it is all a joke? Chill Marlie, chill.

Religious class was mundane. But this two lovely people somehow manage to perk up the day, like every other Sundays. The twins wasnt there yesterday. They're the people who hears me out in between lessons. Who gave their fullest attention and even tried to give suggestions on how to solve things. Its not that I cant solve my own problem. The moral of the story here is, people whom I barely meet everyday, like once a week, whom Im not so close to, are there for me. They made me so excited to go to weekend classes when I always look for excuses to skip.
^_____^
Can I declare that I miss the Baristas? Idk. People might think that Im not sincere coz I dont miss them much to even make the effort to come down and hang out with them. Say whatever you want to say, then I cant say anything else. But it is from the bottom of my heart, with infinity sincerity, I miss you guys. No especially(s) here. Miss everyone equally. Aim, Azri, Aisyah, Indra, Faye, Khai and Ari maybe? Heh. I'll drop by soon k guys. Drop-by will do alright? XD

Im confused. Again. Everyone's making things complicated. And here I am keeping silent. I know my weakness is _________. I inserted a blank coz I dont want people to think that Im asking for sympathy with what my weakness is. But yea, maybe, just maybe, I should go along with the flow, leaving things the way it is for now, and put the non-important stuff aside? It shouldnt be a maybe anymore now Marlie, coz you know yourself that its a must. Talking to myself again. Shit happens.

Pssssst! I've updated now handsomeboy! And guess whats the time? Its 6.01 in the morning! Hahahahaaa! Gooooo update! Or I'll stop calling you handsomeboy and I'll start calling you ______, which Im very very sure you wont like. ^^

Second part of the day

I've been giving some thought about one thing the past few days. And its defintely not easy to come up with a conclusion. I know I'd somehow get myself hurt with the decision Im going with. But its best both for myself and also for others around me. I think that no matter what happens, I believe that there are alot more people out there who are much more unfortunate than me. Yet, all this while I've been whining and complaining about everything that surrounds me. When I should be thankful and grateful for everything that I've got. Family, home, finance, and so. Ok the main thing here is, Im tired of approaching people for hearing me out. I might irritate the listener without I myself know it. I dont want to sound or appear like a sobber here even though I looked like one already. But ye, Im just sick and tired of appearing like a zombie in school because of my fever due to me feeling low everytime. Many been asking hows my fever when they should be asking hows me, shouldnt they? Thats the weird part about human beings. They tend to get carried away of showing their concern, but they dont even know what they were asking. Weird. Whatever it is, Im being strong now. Still going on strong. Coz now is the time I endure this kind of situation. Yes, its the crucial time already. The crucial year for me, as they put it. Im bidding goodbye to ________. And a big hello to a big stack of books. New bestfriends for now. I want to do Dad proud. I want to do Mum proud. I dont want to disappoint Sofie's high hopes for me. But sometimes, I think they pinned too high expectations for me. When they shouldnt have. I fear disappointment the most. Im so out of topic. Sighs.

Azri mane kau? Kenape tibe2 MIA? Rindu kau sioooools. ):

I dont like the way Im having all sorts of feelings for someone. Sometimes, I feel like Im excited to see him. At times, I'd feel shy too, no doubt. But at some point of time, I'd feel like hating myself for even have the feelings for someone. But what can I do? I cant just ask god to take away my feelings? I'd be a human being without feelings then? Without emotions? God no. The feeling suddenly grew inside me. But now, God has answered my prayer to open my eyes and do the right thing now. Im going to focus on my Olevels for now. C'mon Marlie, its still not too late for another one to two months now? Within the blink of an eye, what d'you know? Olevel's done and over with. And soon, I'd be hunting for a job, Insya'Allah I will. And yes, Alhamdulillah that god answered my prayer today and showed me the right path. Its just not the time for me to think of all this unnecessary stuffs. Not now Marlie, not now. Insya'Allah, one day. Amin.

Thursday, August 21, 2008.

21st August 2008

Dedicating this particular message to someone who is a classmate, companion, study-buddy, a teacher, a supporter, a part-time joker, a UnitSergantMajor in NCC and most importantly, a BESTFRIEND of mine. Yes its for Muhammad Syazwi B Muhammad Zain. Even though I know you're like, not reading this. XD Its 7.00pm now still the 20th August, exactly on the dot. In 5 hours time, bestfriend is going to turn 16. So I'll just type everything down and post it at 12 mid later. ^^

I havent have the right words to put in to say how grateful I am having found such a good friend. You have been very very supportive and sincere with the friendship we have built, Zwi. You even bothered to ask if I was upset (about you know, I know, Zikri knows, that no one else knows) at the end of the day after we have separated our ways through SMS even though I know you werent that type of person, bother to ask. I was surprised, really. By a simple question if I was ok or not, made me smile even when Im upset like GodKnowsHowUpsetIWas. You have contributed alot and I mean aloooooot in my life. You have done your job as a friend, as a bestfriend indeed. I shant say what but yeaa, Im feeling very very grateful now.

I remember when you asked me this question which I have to consider when it comes to others, which I dont when it comes to you. The question that I got on 31st March 2008. You wrote it in a card. A nicely done by Carol card. I was smiling on the way back home while typing a message for you. I remember what my answer was and until today, I did not regret it one single bit. I wasnt even sure if you were excited about it or not. But yes, it defintely made my day for turning 16th on that day. Your idea of starting a birthday song for me in class at the end of the day? My eyes would have already been like an ocean by the time the whole class finished singing. Only there wasnt even a droplet of water on that day, I wonder why. Hahaha! So you see, you've contributed 'something' somewhere in my life. Its never a regret having you as my bestfriend. No wait Im serious. So why do I even bother to right a whole long message for Zwi when I know he's not reading this ay? Is because I know that one day when Im senile, I'll be able to rely on this post to help me remember how great a friend like Syazwi was. And still is. What if I forget that a blog that belongs to me even exist? Uhh, that? Can wait. ^^

So 'Sergant-Squash'em-Syazwi' [inside joke], for what I have to say for now is. Happy turning 16th years old, bestfriend. May Allah guide you to the right path now(present), and later(future). Insya'Allah. And all the best for prelims and Olevels, Zwisis(is that how you guys spell it? Haahaa!) coz I know you can do it! But dont stress yourself too much k! Insya'Allah you can make it (:

Ok so that was only for the birthday boy. Now I think I have to do this no matter how hard I try keeping it to myself. I have to say it out here. But just not now, I dont know when too. Only god knows. Another topic comes. I was bloghopping since I was very very bored at home. Still with the fever. I do the same thing in class whenever Im down with a fever. SLEEP. Coz seriously, my head was feeling very very warm that I thought it was burning. I might sound exaggerating here but Im describing the feeling of warmth-ness of my forehead. I'll get upset easily whenever Im down with it. And vice versa, whenever Im upset, I'll get down with fever easily. Hahahaa! Weirdo like what a friend calls me now. ^^ Back to topic, was bloghopping. Came upon a friend's blog where friend had got me thinking. Hmmm. Lets see. What was it about again? -_____- Ok now I remember. What would I be thinking of when you're gone at this very moment? Can I not answer that? Hahahahaa! Coz I cant imagine life being without you and I DONT want to think how it'll be. NO, I DONT. And friend, Im not faking it ok. Im fucking serious. So dont think too much about it k? And to let your mind at ease, Im refering to you, Indra the Theodore! ^^ You dont really have to know and you dont have to think too much alright.

The bahyan thingy after school just now got me deep into thoughts. I wasnt paying very close attention but I manage to get what they're trying to convey. Raziman was great. Fareez was.. Uhmm..? Ok laa since he wanted to give it a try. Manage to get Syuu and Deee to join even though they were half-hearted to join or not. But I told them give Fareez a chance to convince us and so. But he turned his 'sharing-story' into a laughing-stock. But still, there were quite obvious messages which are meant to be shared somewhere hidden in his 'twisting-and-turning-words' of bahyan. Rine was great too. So was Zwisis. The talk had me made up my mind to stop doing the 'not-so-urgent' stuff and the 'not-so-important' stuffs, like hanging out till late night when not necessary. Im trying my best not to go online everyday now since I have no more assignments that are due. Its up to me now to start my revisions now or after my prelims. Sigh. I dont want my first very important certificate to appear fugly. I'll try my best and defintely give my all. Im still going online for now. Not anymore after prelims. I'll try, cant promise. Coz Im afraid of making empty promises, like what many did to me. Shant start on that.

I've picked every Tuesday to attend 'after-school-hours' after prelims since they're opening the library to extended hours for the graduating classes. I might come on other days too. But since Im not so sure if I'd be able to make it, I just signed up on every Tuesdays. Till 8pm. Zikri Hanim and I picked the same day. And we signed for only one day. Hahahaa. Not confident enough if we'll be able to make it every four possible days ay? But yeaa. Many that should have came for the bahyan just now wasnt there. Im very proud of those organizing the meeting or gathering. Coz I too, think that muslims society is decreasing. Maybe not the society, but the Iman. Hmmmmm. *Deep into thought. Again.* And not forgetting, Happy 16th Birthday, Nur Affan! "Baru nk turn 16 kepee boy?" Copy paste. Go figure.

I never expect today's post was gonna be, THIS loooong. XD

I miss Azri. Random.

Sunday, August 17, 2008.

From your regular customer, 'M:

We love you Azri! Where's Aim? Mintak kene pukol pe tu matrep? *sarcastic smile*

Yesterday was 16th August 2008, which means I am dedicating this post to

Muhammad Azri Bin Abd Rashid to wish him a Happy 17th Birthday!

May you achieve your goals and dreams.

May your wishes come true.

May you succeed in life.

May you have a bright future ahead that is full of happiness.

May you have a wonderful 17th birthday, yesterday.

And lastly, semoge dipanjangkan umur dan dimurahkan rezeki.

Insya'Allah (:

Sayaaaang Azri! XD

Sayang Indra Aim and Khai too. Extras that I picked up from along the streets. O.o Hahahaaa! Faaaake! No laaa love everyone of you guys laa. Aisyah Faye and Darel is not forgotten. Should I include Ari? Hahahahaa! Oh God, stop this nonsense Marlie. He can be your big big BIG brother in this case. Ari's cute. Thats all. Hahahaaa still, not my type. Aim might get the wrong idea seeing me always asking if Ari's in store. Hahaha! Got someone else at the back of my mind already ok? No, not sb members. Stop imagining things you guys.

Indra asked me to come down today. Waited for his call. But since he was late and it started to rain cats and dogs (cheychey! hahaha) I decided to stay online for a while longer and chatted with the usual 'crap-chatter'? Hahaha you know who you are. I dont have to say it here. Maybe I'll just come down tomorrow? After I finished my Amath Mock Exam Paper 2 at 5plus? Shall see how it goes.

I suddenly dont feel like meeting/seeing/listening/bumping into Shahiddin in school tomorrow. He said something very annoying in the phone just now. Halfway yakking before he could fully finish irritate me I managed to quickly hung up. Hahaha! Loser. K fine I still have to face him in school no matter how hard I try hiding from him. Irritating fucking bastard. [ O: Marlie! Marlie! Tsk tsk!] Hahahaa! K faaaaake. I just like to use that line. Like cool like that. But I wasnt refering to anyone k, not Din too. Irritating fucking bastards. Hahaa. K ignore me. Gonna mug for tomorrow's Amath Paper 2.

Good night now. Sleep tight everyone. Take good care of yourself, Indra (;

PS: Your turn to update, handsomeboy! You know who Im refering to! Moleguy. ^__^

Sunday, August 10, 2008.

Im disappointed. Im very very disappointed. With who? With myself actually. Rashid was being a great listener just now. Very different from other listeners I must say. But like not him like that. O.o K faaaaake! Hahahaa. Thankyou friend. So back to topic, Im very very disappointed ah. People whom I care for would actually make empty promises with me. Like how could they ah? I wont say, 'so much for being caring' coz it'll sound as if I've not been sincere all along. But yeaa, Im upset by this. So many lies and empty promises. Right before my eyes. Like what am I? Who am I? What do people take me for? Places where you throw your promises at and just break them? Is that it? If thats it then I guess Im being too soft all this while. Sigh..

Im glad I didnt come down to mugging as usual today. Not that I'll regret coming down. But it was much better for me to homestayed today. Wonder if Im coming down tomorrow. Feel like homestayed today and just revise my physics. Ira asked me along for a jog tomorrow morning. Been looking forward to that since the last jog. Which is like weeks ago? Ok Im beat. I'll sleep when I'll feel sleepy. For now I'll just stare at the screen while the screen stares back at me.

-________-

HAPPY 48TH BIRTHDAY, PA!

ILY!

Friday, August 08, 2008.

Was glancing through old pictures in my own laptop. Yes, Im using my own laptop. Mom let me use it since Im not doing any assignments today. Actually, I can use it laa just that Im asking Mom to do me a favour of being strict with me about using it. So ya. Back to the topic. I came across this old pic of me and a few friends having our breakfast or lunch before or after proceeding to a nearby library to mug. Shant say more.

Everything went blank for me last night. I was very very disappointed in myself. No I never did anyone wrong. None that I could think of. But I wasnt just disappointed in myself. Im quite disappointed with a bunch of people too whom I thought I called them friends. Im not sure of myself anymore. Maybe I should stop doing whatever not concerning to studies for now. Just for now. I've been thinking about someone lately. Maybe I should get myself to forget about that too? Yeaa, maybe I should. Sigh..

I was sooo excited last night. But no one was there to witness me grinning from ear to ear. Except for my grandmother O.o She entered my room and asked why am I smiling. Thinking that Sofie had slept, she turned to witness my grin. Hahaha! Silly me.

*There's alot more for me to say, but I just dont know where to begin. All's confusing now.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008.

Am at SB BP now using Diandra's lappy. I know I know. I came down today with no intention of completing any assignments. But I brought along just in case I feel guilty all of the sudden. And since Im not doing anything now, I'll blog only for a while. I've been typing my journals in my phone just in case I need to recap whatever interesting events happened. ^^
I'll definitely post about EVERYTHING after the last day of my paper. Alot has been happening at this point of time. And I mean alot. Non-stop assignments and revisions?
Guess I'll stop here. Coz I have no intention to blog actually. Hahaha. FAKE! No seriously ah, and to Indra and Azri, your 'fake' is like very irritating ah. But entertaining. O.o Nevermind.

I miss chatting with someone ):

LEAVE A MESSAGE :)

ALTERNATIVE EXITS.

♥♥♥♥ » SOFIE
» Ann
» Deena
» Hanim
» Shiqqin
» Weena

Friends » G E R L F Y♥
» Aisyah
» Chafeka
» Indra
» Leiyi
» Linda
» Mun
» Muss
» Nura
» Ryan
» Shahida
» Tammie
» Wajihah

L02's ♥ » B A O O B E E R R♥
» Darren
» Derek
» Keith
» Phoebe
» Sze Yee
» TingXin

PAST.

October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 September 2015

BABIES BORN.

January
28th - Lee zara colleague
31st - Jacq L02baober cum pang ah lian

Febuary
12th - LATE ? 13th - Ammelia L02baober
23rd - Asidah L02baober cum cockuptwin
21th - Athirr gerlfys
24th - Nisa

March
1st - Mommy cum 'rents anni
2nd - Lala neighbour
11th - Ann kakak ;)
15th - Sufian chongkecik (upgrade)
18th - Phoebe L02
31st - Arziana twinny
31st - YOURS TRULY :DDD

April
17th - Cilong L02
26th - Amira gerlfys
29th - Poh Lay L02

May
16th - Ting Xin L02
26th - Shasha 2nd mei mei
31st - Guan Jie L02

June
16th - Hijjah ej love
24th - Nisah L02
26th - Kai Xin L02baober cum partner
27th - Ying Jie L02
30th - Sofie ? ta jie
30th - Shahiddin

July
5th - Syuuu gerlfys
7th - Shanky ;DDD
13th - Terence ;)))

August
7th - Farlini kak lynn love
14th - Sze Yee L02
19th - Afiqah L02baober cum kak iqah
20th - Kai Yun L02
26th - Keith L02

September
13th - Fatin kidd love
14th - Huda 4e2mate
20th - Yu Sheng L02
21st - Linn 1st mei mei

October
2nd - Derek L02
6th - Shiyi L02baober cum bestfriend
24th - Zura
26th - Gramma 66

November
17th - Hanim gerlfys cum bestie since 3 ;)
19th - Indra

December
12th - Michelle L02baober cum seashell
16th - Adina Tay Ah-Jie