BONJOUR.
ⓜ ⓐ ⓡ ⓛ . ⓔ
Chindon Malay.
31st March.
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Monday, June 30, 2008.
*SOFIE SOFIE SOFIE SOFIE SOFIE SOFIE SOFIE*
"Oldest(:"
Its somewhere near to 12 midnight now, which indicates that its going to be the 30th soon. So this post is dedicated especially to someone special. Someone who has been a friend, a listening ear, and most importantly, a sister, a big sister to me for the past 16 plus years of me breathing. Malyana [Dont look so blurr. Thats what it sounded like when you called me by my long name at the speed of light! =D] wants to wish you a Happy 18th Years of Breathing! May you have a smooth journey in life that contains nothing but the happiness that you deserves. May Allah be by your side always, during good times and bad times. May you have a bright bright, in fact, much brighter future ahead! You're the nicest sister among the evil ones. Hahahahhaa! Fake fake! You're nice laa. And oh! May your love life with Baldyman is nothing but forever. Im happy for you laa, Sofie! Coz baldyman is just plain nice. Hahahhaa! So I really really hope you enjoyed the surprise on Friday the 27th. Enjoy the day too okayys! Iloveyou, big sister! =D
*Sorry if I took Baldyman's number and alot more from your phone secretly. It was part of the surprise plan! =D
*And Happy ONE MONTHSARY Sofie and Baldyman. =D
_________________________________________________________________
Happy 16th birthday, Syahira! *27th June*
Happy 15th birthday, Cousin Syafiqah! *29th June*
And and most importantly! Hahahahaha! Happy 16th birthday, Nur Shahiddin! You have been nothing but a great great friend ever since I started to know you! Enjoy the day too okayys! (:
Saturday, June 28, 2008.
"And all I can say is hope you had fun spending the day with Baldyman" (:
Yesterday being the Friday the 27th was absolutely a great day.
Firstly, it was the NCC day. So my day was lightened up abit coz there was Sufi, the hottest one, sitting beside me in class. Hahahahaa! There's sexy friend, bestbud and also another friend too (: Malay class was defintely hilarious with our Malay Teacher arguing in a joking manner with the NCC guys.Secondly, Sofie's surprise wasnt a total success. The whole bunch of friends that was invited, only one turned up. When Ika, Sofie's closest friend told me that all wasnt able to make it, I was entirely speechless. So much for a meaningful surprise. Yeaa I nearly broke into tears. I even told Ika lets just hope she enjoys the day with the four of us. And definitely hopes for the best. The four of us were me Ika Hanim and Baldyman (: Beloved Immy came later when I had already made my way to RP. Tsk. What a waste. I could have my chance to meet the handsome. XD It wasnt the surprise that I had in mind. But hey, the tears that I witnessed was all that matters. I really really wanted it to be your bestest memorable birthday, Sofie. Sigh.
However, thanks Ika, Hanim and Baldyman for making the surprise a half success? 0.o Sorry to trouble you guys.
Thirdly, the Esparanza III was marvy! EunJin did solo so did Izni. They were fantastic! XD
Farhan was there. Both the Farhan. Hahhaa. I mean, Farhan Syuu bf and Cousin Farhan since he's in RP now. =D
Still owing sexy friend and friends the treat. Tsk. Its either they're not free or Im not free. Yeaa go figure.
School has been the same. Assignments here and there. Practices here and there. I know Im tired. But I've got to keep going just for the sake of achieving my goals.
....
0.o
Not in the right mind.
At last, I've told Hanim what she was supposed to know. I felt bad for sharing with her till this late. But yeaa, I was relief when she was able to hear me out no matter what. And in this very serious situation, she can still joked about it. Which made me laughed of coz. =D
Thankyou, to the 10 wondeful people who cares enough to listen. You know who you people are. Now Im very very sure that I do have caring people around me. Aloooooot. And for one thing that Im very sure of is, I wont hesitate to share with any of these nice people in future. Ohh, thankyou Zikri for the short and sweet advice. Although its kind'dof weird and surprising to hear it comes from you (:
I've been sharing alooot. Lately. But after that I've been keeping to myself. Again. I dont know why. Maybe I do. But Im just plain lazy to type it all out. Sigh sigh. I feel like stop blogging all of a sudden. Its like I've been whining alooot. But I didnt do anything about it. I just complain and complain and whine. See..? Tsk
Friend, thanks for the concern over the phone the other night. I wasnt crying dont worry okayy. Although my voice and the way I talked says it all. 0.o
Hahahaa no really, I wasnt crying k? Even though I felt like crying over something that you know I know that a few more knows, Im still being strong up till now. Still strong. I'll try to stay strong all the way ok? Thankyou again (:
Tuesday, June 24, 2008.
I dont want to dislike someone. Not anyone. But why do people have to make me dislike them? I mean seriously. Why do something which you know people wont like you for doing it? Tsk. People just dont use their sense now do they? I know brain is a better word to use instead of sense, but hey brain sounds a bit harsh now doesnt it?0.o
Basically I didnt go to school yesterday being it the first day of school for Term 3. Fierce? I know right! Hahahaa No no defintely not purposely. I was up already, getting ready some more. By now most should know that I have severe migraine attacks here and there? I wont eaborate on how unbearable the pain is but yeaa, I thought of taking a short nap. But I end up waking up at 9am. Hahahaa. Wasnt shock coz it was kind'dof expected? Yeaaa. Sorry to keep those waiting early in the morning (:
So today being my first day after the long break, well so called break, lessons wasnt as dry as I expected. Sufi managed to perk some of us up in class. Mostly during SS (:
But since he's my seating buddy, I was always lighten up by his lame jokes -_________-
Hahahahaa. Ok noo they're not lame but hilarious ok! Im just glad I was thrown into a lovely class with lovely classmates (:
Mates convinced Madam Tan called me Bob. Now they had Mr Chew to call me that too? I guess Im loving my mates much more now? 0.o
Everything went smoothly in school today. Saw people whom I was looking forward to see, and didnt see people whom I dont want to see. Go figure (:
I feel like saying this again, and I feel stupid but wth. Hahahaa. Here goes. I love my classmates laaa. No doubt they made my day each time I walked into the class of 4E2. I just couldnt be thankful and grateful enough for this (:
Let me talk about my 'wonderfully-spent' holiday. Basically the first two weeks of holiday wasnt really a holiday for the Sec 4 Express. We've got intensive lessons for the two whole long pathetic weeks. In preparation for the upcoming major exams. I know right! I should emphasize on the 'major'. Hahahaa.
So after the two weeks of having our holiday with mates in school, the other two weeks wasnt much of a different. I've spent my third week doing my holiday assignments like almost everyday I think. Yeaa I know and I will say this again. I forced myself too much. Tsk. Nothing comes out of it. I wasted my time forcing myself to do this and that. But nothing really goes into my head. And nothing gets started. The most I did was to do one pathetic question. The very least, at most five for Amath? Half a question for English? Yes yes that pathetic (:
I somehow wont differ the fourth week from the third week. Its somehow alike for how I spent those period. Only I hang out alot more than mugging.
I forgot what I did on monday. God. How senile can I be? Did I went mugging with Shahiddin? Or did I homestayed? Or was it something else? Dammit.
Tuesday was somehow an unforgettable day for me! I went out with lovely Ej since its been ages since we last went out together. Ok, exaggerated! But you get the idea of how long it has been. -______-
We didnt do anything much but we managed to catch up with each other. We shared alot and I could have sworn its a memorable day for me. I cant deny that Im asking for more of this event! Hahahaa! After exploring town with Ej, met up with KiDd at BP and we walked around just to catch things up with each other. I swear they're very very nice people (:
In the mid-evening I went separate ways with Ej and KiDd to hang out with Shahiddin Zura Wan and Zura's cousin at SB. Nisa and Ira joined us after Wan left. The two babes were from Sentosa with their lovely mates (:
Wednesday? Hmmm. Lets just say I got this senileness from beloved Hanim? Hahahaa. No seriously I cant remember what I did on Wed. Tsk.
Thursday and Friday too. Haahha. Whaaaaaaaaaaats! Aiyoooo Marlie. Tsk tsk tsk. Thats bad. Very very bad. 0.o
Saturday? I remembered I went to Woodlands Civic Library with Shahiddin. Syuhaidah was supposed to join us but yeaa. Last minute back up Im not sure why ):
Spent my Sunday at home completing the incompleted assignments, but failed to do so. I was up from dawn prayers till 11 plus at night? Yeaa I know right! Then came Monday morning. Hahah!
I was wide awke in the morning. I was.... Hey wait! I explained why I didnt went to school yesterday in the earlier part of this entry right? So yeaa. Hahaha.
I've been saying this. But I just cant stop saying it since its there and just.. there? Well here goes. *Taking in large amount of oxygen.*
Alot happened. Lately. Alooooot and I mean aloooot. To me, to others. I know, what happened to others got to do with me, right? Tsk. I cant seem to find the right words now. But everything inside me is just begging to let everything out. Sigh sigh. I dont want to end up complaining or whining again. Im just tired. Plain tired.
Why do I have a strong feeling that the more I found something hateful about you, the more my feeling for you has grown? I hate this. Friends please just stop teasing me of bieng shy. Im pathetically [is there such a word?] serious this time. Im tired of feeling this way. I truly am. Can I have a time-machine with me? I know its impossible, but wth. Im desperate to get out of this complicated situation right now. Trust me. Its tiring plus exhausting. Tsk.
I certainly cant wait for Friday! There's alot of event coming up this Friday the 27th. There's going to be NCC and StJohn day combined if Im not wrong. Cant wait to see my four hot mates in uni! Hahahaa. Sexy friend is gonna wear one too! Woooooo~! Additional to his sexiness. Haahahaa. Ok I'll save my droolings for Friday then. Hmmm. There's gonna be the band concert thing. I think Im interested. Zikri's got so excited about going. Hahahaa. I guess Im interested too (:
Syuhaidah, Nisa, Shahiddin and Athira are the people whom I owe a big thankyou to. They've been nothing but great listeners this holiday (:
Ej and KiDd are just nice and lovely people whom I'll never regret knowing in Fajar. IloveyouAunties (:
Hanim and Zikri are just the bestest of the best.
Even though I've known Zikri for only since Sec 1, we've started to get this close since last year. I remember last year when I went out with Zahida, Sofie's bud, also Zikri's neighbour, and she told me that Zikri said to Muhammad, which is Zahida's brother cum Zikri's friend, that I was his bestfriend. I was kind'dof shock at first hearing that. So Zahida asked me if that was true. I said of coz not but we were just as close. We get along well in class since our seats are neighbouring (:
I was kind'dof curious if Zikri really treated me as one of his bestfriends. The very next day when I met him I directly asked him. Zik, what do you take me for? Your friend or bestfriend? He said friend at first. And asked why I asked too. So I told him what Muhammad told Zahida. He smiled and said, yaa of coz I treated you like my bestfriends since we're this close. I was like really? Hahahaa ok! Cute guy. I accepted him as my bestfriend since then since he was really really sincere in our friendship. And I can really see his sincerity (:
Thankyou Zikri for the nicest friendship that we have built for one and a half years now? Yeaa. You were never regarded my bestie, but my bestestfriend. Swear.
I've got one more particular people in mind whom I would like to thank too. From the bottom of my heart, you've been a nothing too, but defintely a great great listener. I wont say more coz I assume you know I know we know that what Im gg to say is just too personal. Thankyou, listener (:
Friday, June 20, 2008.
Happy SEXY Seventeenth, Muhammad Farhan Bin Zainuddin~!Iloveyou, bigcousin! *winks*
Time check: 2:31am
I havent been blogging for the past few days for the fact that I was gathering all the words that could possibly be typed out here. But nothing seems to come out of it. Im still very clueless on how to type things out for what has been happening lately. Im out of words. Things have gotten out of hand too. I even considered of doing something stupid earlier on. Damn what is wrong with me. Nothing ever goes the right way anymore do they? Things seem to have changed overnight. I will not go on any further since I still cant find the right words to fill in the blanks. I know I shouldnt be leaving things around hanging, left unsure and unsaid. No matter what, I'll definitely find whatever that had been missing all along soon. There's no time to worry. Right now I've got alot of assignments and other stuffs that is yet to be completed. Sigh sigh. I cant complain now, can I? ):
I'll definitely ignore my feeling for someone and I'll let it be the way it is for now. I have no time to worry about all this nonsense. The more I whine about it, the more it'll bother me. But I cant wholeheartedly deny that I do have something for someone. I just choose to ignore and yes, move on with whatever there is in life that has laid right before me now. I'll just have to accept whatever is fated. =D
Time check: 4:30am
I'll just update on the same entry that I just posted a moment ago. Recently I went out with Ej to town. We had nothing particular in mind so we walked around and catch up on each other. We shared aloooot and I wasnt expected it to be a whole lot laa. Ej shared with me something that really got me thinking this far. I've give it some thought now. No matter what happens, its all fated. =D
The walk around town wasnt just a walk. Its a walk and talk at the same time. I could have sworn that we were never silent. Either I talk she listened, or she talked I listened. Never silent. Just like I said earlier, we got aloooot of catch up on. Im glad I shared everything with Ej and KiDd. Im gald I open up everything to them. I can no longer keep things inside anymore. Its hard for me. Do I sound like Im complaining now? Something just got me started here, again. Tsk.
This Time by Jojo
This time, this time, this
I've made the a mistake like before
givin you the pleasure of takin you through it
i told you i'd get what i want
and i aint tryin to hear nothin else but just do it
then i had to take a good look
when everything else didnt have my ring to it
i'm sittin here blamin myself
when i saw what you were feelin'
inside and miss used it
verse 1:
this time its all my fault
this time i can't let go
this time i did it
really but i got these feelings
how am i supposed to know
can't let my weakness show
half my fits may cause me to miss this first chance at real love
chorus:
this time i wont let you get away from me
this time i'm gonna let you take it where it should be
this time i wont say no so you know there's a way to protect me
baby this time, this time, this time,this time,
this time,this time i'm a let you on me
every female i know
can't seem to take their eyes off of you
and i see it
it's just that my girls been so hurt
and i'm not tryin to be the next one goin throught it
so that their guys have been real and i don't wanna lose it i gotta say thank you
the thought of you gone gives me chills so baby let's just put this aside and just come here
verse 1
chorus
never realized and know you love
no i'm just kinda stuck here and didn't know
now i know that just me you'll see boy
and i owe you all my heart and deepest apology
so let's take this back to where it's gotta be
i just wanna do this for youboy,
booooooooooooooooooooooooyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
chorus(2X):
this time i wont let you get away from me
this time i'm gonna let you take it where it should be
this time i wont say no so you know there's a way to protect me
baby this time, this time this time i'm a let you on me
Monday, June 16, 2008.
Happy SEXY Seventeenth, NURHIJJAH!
May you have a wonderful day today and enjoy while it last alright!
May your journey in life be a memorable one.
Semoge dipanjangkan umur dan dimurahkan rezeki!
Iloveyou Kak Jah! Ifuckingmissyou alooot too!
Cant wait for tomorrow! Gaaaaah~!
Basically I just had my first meal or breakfast after the long 38 plus hours of empty stomach. I still dont feel so good somehow or rather. I was feeling all dizzy and almost fell down when I got off from bed. So I decided to have a few bite of crackers with hot tea. Im feeling a little better now, still I have a strong feeling Im not gonna have anymore appetite for anymore meals today. Whatever appetiteshit.
I dont know what to do today. I've been somehow confused or rather blurr lately. I dont know whats wrong with me. No seriously. Ever since all the recent shit started, I havent been myself lately. And I hate this feeling. I had a number of great litseners. Even though they cant help much, being there just to listen really made me feel so grateful knowing that I have a bunch of caring people around me. A bunch of great people is more than enough, I swear. I dont need everything to be so perfect. I know its better to be perfect. But where in the world can you find someone being so perfect? I know right! Tsk.
Study planned with Huda was cancelled coz I though I'd be going to school alone. But I changed my mind to the very last minute and Im going study with Nisa. I know right! Like wth? Tsk. Sometimes I made decisions without thinking. I know I shouldnt be finding excuses now. But Im really really sorry Huda for troubling you. I feel bad. Tsk. Sometimes I dont see the point in doing something that we dont want to. But sometimes it just benefits aloot. Alot than what we expect it to be. Sigh sigh.
Sunday, June 15, 2008.
"Happy Father's Day, Pa!"Thankyou for your support all this while and tolerating with all my shits and nonsense for the 16 plus years of me breathing. I appreciate what God has given me. Thankyou again, pa. And drive carefully on the road alright? Iloveyou, daddy! =)
Its been more than 24 hours that I left my stomach empty. I dont bother to go and remember the exact duration but all I know is that its been more than 24 hours. I dont have the appetite to eat now. Not even when I went into the kitchen just now and discovered so many delicious dishes on the table. Usually I cant resist at the sight of delicious dish being cooked. I'll have myself some bite, at least a spoon. At the very least that is. Not now. Not anymore. Something's bothering me. And its very very irritating. It really got my appetite off me now. What's next? Im tired of whining and complaining. Im sure those who have been my listening ears are tired of listening to me whine too. Sigh. I just cant help but to whine when I can chose to shut the hell up and ignore the current situation Im in. But no, I chose to brag about it to everyone. No more, okay? I just feel like I should get the hang of it and lets just wait and see what comes out of it. Tsk.
Saturday, June 14, 2008.
No its not wrong to like someone else. Definitely not. But liking someone is not as easy as liking or loving Chocolate Cream Chip. But liking someone is the most painful part of all that is related to the heart affairs. You might say no, being rejected is the most painful. Painful, true. Most painful? Uh-uh. I wont deny that I too am afraid of rejection. Most people do. But being rejected is once and for all. Once you were being rejected, you wont wonder anymore if that person likes you back, wondering if that person has the same feeling for you too. Once rejected, you know you wont stand a chance. And you'll eventually wont put hopes, or high hopes maybe. But the pain of liking someone is waaay different than that the pain of being rejected. When you like someone, you tend to feel awkward in their presence, and your heart beats faster than ever. Right right right? And you'll eventually wonder who that person likes? If he or she have the same feeling as you? All this thoughts and questions really bothers you, no doubt.
Okayy so my first para sounds so much like I experienced something different for the first time? I chose to type things out the complicated way coz I dont want people to really get what Im trying to say here. Get it? No? Good! Hahahah! Tsk. Marlie Marlie. Its been hard for me ever since all this started. It was soo unexpected. No really. Tsk. I guess shit happens?
Thankyou Huda for being there for me yesterday till late at night, or should I say midnight? Or is it morning already? Hahaha! But yeaa, we'll be there for each other even though its 3.01am in the morning right? Hehh! Whatever is it, I feel so blessed having nice people around me even though I dont see that at times. No matter what, you too stay strong Nurhuda! Iloveyou, SG! Go figure! XD
Friday, June 13, 2008.
I am plain speechless about everything that happened yesterday.
To _____,
When you shared about how you were feeling ytd, feeling all soo fucked up, I almost cried. From the beginning till the very end. You got my heart all painful and I felt like it had been squashed. You might think that this is all crap and just wanna show you sympathy. Assume whatever you want, but I am definitely sincere, dear friend. I cant believe a nice person like you could experienced such thing. You asked me to ask someone what you told that person, well that person shared with me already. Really friend, what you did was stupid you should know it too, but anything can happen when one is feeling so depressed, so fucked up. But you promised yourself you wont do such thing didnt you? Im not trying to blame you for what was already been done here. Ok lets forget what I said earlier. I just cant believe you really did what you did not intended to do. If you need someone, Im just being what a friend should be, I'll be your 7th 11. Im open 24/7. Just dial up my number, dear friend. No really, I'd be glad if you talk to me rather than you spent your time outside alone and wondering who to turn to the whole day? You got me worried ytd, and Im still ashaken by what you did, what you went through. Just remember, you got your two bestfriends with you, and not forgetting us, your random friends. Remember that, get that in your head! Will chat with you soon, and have a long rest coz Im sure what you did ytd were the cause of the headache. Iloveyou, friend. =)
Thursday, June 12, 2008.
Yesterday's mugging with Nisa Falahh Shahiddin and Ira was going smoothly in the beginning. I got my Amath going, but somehow I cant get much done. I got stuck here and there mostly one questions after another. There was times when I feel like giving up, but I encourage myself not to. Its like Im forcing myself to go on and try. Its not good to force myself, I know right? This time, I really think I need to unwind myself. But how can I help myself when everytime I think of going out, I'll think of doing revisions? Nothing else matters, but revision comes first. But no matter how hard I tried to concentrate, nothing really went into my head. Pffft!~The other half of the day, I was already dried out. My expression laaa, not as in money 'dried out' that kind'dof thing. Hahaha! Imagine me refering to bucks. I feel so loaded, so rich! Hahaha! Okayy now really, where was I? Heheheh! So Shahiddin kept asking me if I was fine, and to reassure himself that I was fine. At some point of time, they took too many 'breaks'. Hahaha! Standard standard. So they got me to hang out at Suntec's Starbucks and we got up from NLB at 8.10pm. I can still remember the time, like wth? Hahah. But my heart said continue with Amath, my head said stop, my feet said no, my friends said go. Hahaha! So among these four, my friends convinced me the most. Wth? Hahaha. Made our way to Suntec. So along the way, Nisa and Shahiddin were arguing like mad people. They somehow managed to get me into their arguments, standing right in between and I end up being the middle person whom they shouted at. Thanks laaa guys. I think my hearings improved, like alooot thanks to the two of you! *Sarcastic smile* But along the way I somehow got myself all silent.Like I said earlier, I had alooot in mind. But this time its not that I dont know what is bothering me. I know, I just know whats been bothering me. Its just that, I wanted to tell someone about it. Get it off my chest. But I just cant seem to find the right words to say it right. I always end up saying a different thing, the wrong thing that is. Im tired. I felt terribly exhausted when thinking too hard on how to say. Sigh sigh.Shahiddin treated me TripleC as he owes me one when I turned sixteen? Big deal! Hahah! Thankyou, Friend. I managed to get myself drinking TripleC even though my stomach was empty. Yes yes, I told them I had my lunch. But I did not. I havent had my lunch and dinner at that point of time. I didnt have the appetite to. So I drank in silence, knowing that my tummy will give me problems in no time. Sigh. Nvm, friend was sincere in treating, so I go ahead with TripleC. We left Suntec and headed for hometown at 10? Yeaa, I think. I managed to sit back relax and close my eyes in the bus on the way home. I was sooo exhausted okayy! So fell asleep on the journey back home. Almost reaching our destination, like expected, tummy gave me problems. Felt like I wanna puke anytime soon. I tried holding back even though its kind'dof digusting. Its either I hold back, or I puke in the bus and everyone got disgusted and the whole bus smells? Hahaha! Damn! Okayy, luckily I didnt puke until I reached home. No, I didnt puke even when I was at home too. Just staomachace. Tsk.Thanks for accompanying me today, friends, even though most of you arent exactly doing what you were ought to do. Haha! Should I say there were too many breaks? Yeaa. Overall, I really thankyou for trying to perk me up. The simple asking of 'are you ok?' is enough for me to see your sincereness. Your care, your concern. Thankyou, friends. Especially Shahiddin and Nisa.**And oh! Saw that sexy-legged friend of mine. =D The camp really got you develop a sexy voice too ay? Hahahah! Oh oh! Sexy-legged friend leaked a secret to me on some friend! Omg! No big deal laaa. Hahaha, dont worry to that friend, its nothing serious. XD
Fatslob? WTH!?!? Hahaha!Cry
I'll always remember
it was late afternoon
It lasted forever
And ended so soon
You were all by yourself
Staring up at a dark gray sky
I was changed
Chorus
In places no one will find
All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside)
It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry
It was late in September
And I'd seen you before
You were always the cold one
But I was never that sure
You were all by yourself
Staring up at a dark gray sky
I was changed
Chorus
I wanted to hold you
I wanted to make it go away
I wanted to know you
I wanted to make your everything, alright
I'll always remember...
It was late afternoon
in places no one will find
Chorus
OutThe moment I saw you cry
I wanted to know you
You asked if I was okayy. Well here's the thing. I thought of ______ the whole day and I got distracted by that. You dont expect me to say it right then and there what was bothering me, do you? No doubt that Im shy about it. But still, got me talking about ______ can make me blush, swear. I dont like the way it is and I dont want it this way. Im fucking scared. I know right? Like scared? Whatever for? God.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008.
Had a morning jog with a friend just now. After that came over to my house and went online. Not many were online so we decided to play 'congkak' since we were bored to tears. Friend really had forgotten how 'congkak' was being played. Pfffft!~Nevermind. You got me. But Im still not sure all this while if I played correctly or not. Hahah!Okayy so basically yesterday I accompanied Athira and Nadzirah to school for mugging. They had their reasons for mugging there. I'd be glad to be their companion for that day. (:Nadzirah wanted so much to mug in the canteen. I guess among so many places in school, canteen was the place she misses most? Heheh! So we made our way to the canteen and found ourselves a suitable place to sit at. As I was walking towards a table, I heard someone calling out my name with a familiar voice. I turned around and saw bb! Omg! How much I miss bb this holiday. Ifmy laaa bb! Hahaha! Walking home with bb is one thing. Mugging with bb is another thing. But bb was having NCC camp, so bb cant walk home with me ytd. Tsk. Nvm. As long as I get to see bb this holiday. Hahaha! Whatever ahh. We mugged, but as usual, nothing goes inside our head. Standard huhh? Hahaha! I had fun spending my mugging period with these two Febuary babies. Hahaha! Okayy, thankyou, aunties! =DHaving a study date with Falahh, Ira, Ana and maybe Nisa is coming along too. At NLB. Its been ages since I last went there. K exaggerating! Hahaha! Fake laa fake laaa! Okayy better go get ready now. Im really really looking forward to finishing my AMath homeworks and TYS weekend assignments! Gaaaaah! Stress stress! No, stop whining Marlie! Tsk. Ok, bye!~
Tuesday, June 10, 2008.
Yesterday was marvellous even though I did not manage to finish what I intended to finish. My day was spent tremendously with KiDd. I felt relieved after telling her everything. It wasnt what I had in mind actually. I just got myself to tell her everthing at that point of time. But everyone's been telling me the same thing. I know I know. There's nothing much I can do about it. Only to let it stay and let it be the way it is for now. I'll let fate decide what is best for me. Even when I know what the outcome will be. Sigh. Sometimes I ought to think too much. I really need to unwind myself. I've been going for study dates, mugging here and there, but I never get anything, anything at all, into my head. Im frustrated with this. If I dont help myself, who else can? Its like I've been lying to myself. And it hurts everytime I told myself a lie. I have to face the fact that Im lying just to assure myself that everything is going to be fine. When I know its not. Im tired. Im tired of hitting the books. I know right? No one is forcing me to hit the books everyday this holiday. Coz I know, if I dont force myself, I dont even get started. Im just afraid I might play too much this holiday that I might completely forgot my time for revision. I think thats why I got myself to mug everyday? Gosh Marlie, you really are pushing yourself too hard now, arent you? Im scared of being a failure. Yes yes, who doesnt? But most people, mostly, are scared of failure because they might disappoint their parents, or get scolded by them or whatevernot. But thats not a big deal to me. What Im really afraid of is being disappointed, by myself. People do set their own expectations. Parents do too, on their children. But even though my parents understands teenagers stressness nowadays and just supported me with 'just try your very besy and give your all, your everything', I still have my own expectations. What if I dont meet them? Meet my own expectations? Woulndt that be disappointing in the end? It hard for me to face disappointment, swear. It'll take the longest time to heal the wound. I guess its no use fretting over that right now when all I can do for now is to really really try my best and put in extra effort. I will defintely try my very best and definitely give my all, my everything. Pheeew!~
Overall, the day was great. Like at last I have KiDd to spend my day with. Thankyou for listening, KiDd! It was a marvellous time well-spent. IloveyouFATIN!~ Im looking forward for hanging out with these two aunties laaa KiDd and EJ next week. Hopefully the plan works smoothly. IMY EJ, and KiDd, like already!!
Okayy I think its time I write in my own blog rather then repeating the same story again and again. I think I like someone!. But Im so unsure. So uncertain about it. About the way I feel. Towards that person. Im not really that kind of person who develops feeling, swear. Okayy so maybe Im just scared of getting hurt? Everytime I look around, mostly that covers the atmosphere are love birds. Everyone's been saying that its not wrong to fall in love. Well, true. But what for we fall in love, and we end up getting hurt? Might as well dont. Correct? Im not saying its wrong to fall in love too laa. I just find it hard to accept that for the very first time, I feel something for someone. Scaaaary!~ Hehh. I feel like I've been repeating myself. Wth! Hahaha! 0.o
But Im trying to make myself forget all this shit. I know I know, like wtf? How can I ignore my feeling? But I just cant bear being the one who hurts the most in the end. Yes yes I know, I never experienced anything like this before so how do I know? Hey I've seen so many r/s failure before okayy, even those not in r/s, but are just falling in love are complicated. Okayy lets not get started here. I really dont like talking about this. Something just got me typing about this at this point of time, but what? I can only wonder.
I can only dream.
Monday, June 09, 2008.
Let me recap what I did for the past few days. Obviously I had fun hanging out with my beloved one. Made new friends along the way.
Saturday
Had a date with Lofva to town. Our plan was just to walk around and explore. Waited for Fahfa at McDonalds. After that we just walk around town here and there. At first I thought this Fahfa was a shy guy ah. But after a while we get along well siaa. Just like that. Hahaha! We argue about the time, coz each of us is like two minutes away from each other, like cool or what? Whaaat, okayy. But I told them my timing was the right one coz mine was somewhat in between the two love birds. So the last place we went to before ending the day was Suntec's fountain. Yeaa, I dno what its called. We talked, chat, sang, shared real ghost stories. Fahfa is definitely brave at overcoming the woman. Hahahha! Okayy so we went off at 10 plus. Got Sofie to hold Abang Botak back for a while coz I wanna meet him, badly! Haha. So the journey home inside the bus was making me feel restless. I was thinking of how Abang Botak would look like in real life. But that didnt really bother me. What bothers me is what about him that attracted Sofie? Huhh, Sofie? =D
So Sofie got him to see me underneath our block, at the void deck. He was somewhat shy? Hahaha! Okayy, he seems kind'dof fierce, and I prefer him with a fierce attitude with his looks. Even his fierce appearance got me all scared of him. XD Like very suitable like that laaa. Haha. Sofie carried this small bag and I was like, 'bag kental'. Then she said, 'eh this not mine laaa.' So Marlie was paisey laaa and was already 0.o Hahaha! He can still smile! Grrrrrr! When they exchanged bags I grab mine. Hmpf! How dare Sofie let others touch/carry my Adidas bagpack. Fake fake! Hahahah! So I turned and walked away leaving the two love birds behind shouting, 'Bye Abang Botak!' Confirm he smiled while hitting me back with a bye. Awwwwh! Hahaha! Sofie said when he walked away, he turned to say, 'confirm she say Im not handsome!' Hahahahaha! I was like whaaaaaaaaaats!
Okayy, here's my overall opinion about Abang Botak. First impression, scary coz he has this fierce look. Second impression, cool laa. Like so so ahh. Hahah. At least he apologize for smoking infront of me. -_______-
Overall, the day was spent with Lofav my dear, and that matters most. I'll always be there for you gerl, no matter what okayy? Just shout out on the kitchen window for me when needed! We'll hang out at the void deck like always or som'fin? Love you bby!
Sunday
I had no plans. No plans at all. I thought I was gonna be at home the whole day. Mugging. Well, at least I could use the time to do some useful revision. But no. I had a last minute intention to do some shopping since its a GSS on the go. So I asked Sofie out for a shopping trip. Went to town, again. 0.o
I wont elaborate on first stop second stop everything. But Sofie got herself a pair of nice three quarter skirts at 77th street. My treat since she's turning 18th soon. And I might not have the time to celebrate it with you sister, coz by the time you turn 18, my school has already started in Term 3. So take it as an advance gift okayys? =D Along the way, met Jason, one of Sofie's peeps, at Marina.
Not only that pair of skirts caught her pair of eyes. A NIKE sling caught her eyes too. But my real intention to bring her out was to get her a bag that she really wanted all this while, as her birthday gift. I lied to her that I wanted to go shopping. Hahaha! But mom had to spoil the surprise. Tsk! Tsk!
Whatever laaa. Bought her the bag, luckily 40% off. No discount, no bag. Hahaha! Ohh! I saw this Adidas shoe and its on sale, kind'dof not too expensive laa. Mom said she'd get me one soon, Insya'Allah. XP Met up with Hady and his cousin. Coincidentally, his cousin is my schoolmate laaa. Nana tech? Hahaha! Cool or what! Both Hady and Nana are cool to hang out with, from the bottom of my stomach *hungry!* Hahahahah! No laaa, from the bottom of my heart. Okayy really looking forward to hang out with Nana again! *wink!*
Went our separate ways and yeaa, I got to spend the day with Sofie like at last? Always busy with her Baldy Boy *Abang Botak!* until no time for me. Well, you can say Im quite good at lying. But what can I do? I just dont love to show off what I can do! Hahahaha! No laaaa, I just hate doing evil stuff. I might be the one getting it all.
The day was spent wisely with at last, you by my side. ILY, dear sister! Hope you had fun ytd. =D Today is just another day with another new chapter of life. Hope the meet up with kiDd to mug goes smoothly as planned. Its been months since I last saw her. I miss her like fuck, grrrrrrr! I just need someone to encourage me to mug. Im sure I got the right person this time. X))
All it needs is yourself to consider.
Thursday, June 05, 2008.
At the bottom of the blackest hole... Hahahah! Today was quite creepy! Firstly, got up the usual timing to get ready for school. Then I realized I havent completed my Amath homework. At the same time, my headache was getting worst. So I decided to rest for the first period of math. Skipped first period laa. Luckily Mrs Lim understands. Really, this vectors, differentiation, integration and stuff. Are all pissing me off! Hahaha! I know I know, its just math, but just math? Hahaha! Okayy heck with those. Secondly, I dont even know why Im super hyper today despite having a terrible headache this morning. Raihanah got me singing 'When It Rains by Paramore' all the way to Bio class, or lab that is! Hahahah! We were a crazy bunch of arses laa ok! Luckily there wasnt anyone who spotted us singing. Coz we were like singing our hearts out. Hahaha! I know I know, sooo not me! Haha. But there was a few friends that caught us in action. Luckily they're all classmates! Pheeew!~Im sooo addicted to this song now, and its all because of my singing partner! Grrrrrr! Hahah! But I somehow enjoyed singing with you laa. I really get to sing my heart out singing with you, despite the bleerrghh voice I have. Hahaha! I somehow cant do the same with other people around. Gerl, you got me singing there! Haha.I never saw it coming.Okayy, ignore my last two post! Just ignore them. I post the last one while I was deeply hurt. So words that came out werent exactly what I wanted to say. The second last post before this one, well, lets just say I was feeling kind'dof confused? Yeaa I dno. Even in my present situation, Im being blurr and confused. Like there's nothing can be done to help me see things clearly. Sometimes, when Im looking for a certain wayout, I'll get really pissed off when I just cant, and to find out in the end that the solutions is right infront of my face, better yet, infront of my two eyes. But I just cant figure it out at times. Sigh sigh sigh.And convinced yourself, that its not the reason, you dont see the sun anymore. I was brought back to the olden times by an old friend. Let me describe the old him. He was a so mush so like a gangster kid, with a bad attitude. Tattoo-ed. Always skipped school. Bullying other kids was his all time favourite. Im included. He was primary 5 and 6 classmate of mine. He joined the school while he was 13. Yes yes, I know 13 should already be in secondary school. And no he is not a repeat student, he's my classmate and I came from an EM2 class ok! Uhh, nvm. Skipped!So this guy, my two years classmate, and two years my senior, who often bullies people as nerdy as me, just dont care about a single thing. He will disturbed others in class. Alaaa like should I tell you everything? Just imagine a big buly, with a small tattoo somewhere!, just thinner than a normal big bully. So you should know what this knid of people do and their attitudes! All the lazyness in doing homework, and all.But today, right here right now, as I am having a conversation with him, he seems like a changed guy. He's changed. Changed for the better, that is. He's now chasing after his career of being a professional photographer, and he seemed like a success man already, to me. Howssat for a big bully last time? And yeaa, no more tattoos? I know its not surprising. But still, his previous attitude really dont make me see the bright side if him. Always the dark side. But I was stunned to have know that he's a whole new guy himself. Im sooo proud of him. Im happy to be able to be proud of him at last! At least there's something to be proud of, dear friend.This old friend also shares the problems he faced along the journey to success. Yes, I know every journey to success, there will be ups and downs. But his problems he shared earlier were soo unbearable, even for me. Gosh. He nearly got myself to tears just listening to them. He got me stunned and speechless. I had no idea what esle to say. What to be said. But all I know is, you've turned into a new and fresh leaf now. Dont waste anymore time. Go and chase that dream of yours alright? Whatever you're doing now, you're doing the right thing, going to the right path. You've got my support. I'll be suppoting you all the way! Go for it, dear friend!And when it rains...And when was the last time I typed a post this long? Hahaha! I miss doing that kind'dof thing! Hoho! These memories got me started. Hehh! Oright oright. Now that I have my holiday at last, Im gonna spent it wisely. To get some rest, at the same time, not to forget to get some revision done. Hahaha! Im beat! Till the next post comes out!
Wednesday, June 04, 2008.
A friend hurt me terribly and spout out words that directly hit my face. Without him realizing it I guess. Well the situation is meant to be that way. Do you have to make it sound as if Im wrong? As if Im at fault? And as if I caused so much trouble for you? And yeaa, as if I took advantage of this guy? Damn! You really really hit me in the face siaa. You always, yeaa always, without fail, call me your bestfriend. But do you ever regard me as one? Like when you said something as cruel as that? My heart is still aching because of this ah. You can imagine how cruel the situation is, Im sure. I just cant accept the fact that you'd actually make it sound as if Im doing evil. It really got me stunned for a moment right then and there. I really am speechless for what you've said. Please. You've said enough cruel things to me. I cant take anymore of your bullshit. Just face it that Im not with someone.You cant imagine how stunned I was.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008.
Im a home alone kid for now. Everyone's gone swimming and left me home alone after school. ): Hahaha! Okok Im not being scared or what laaa. Just feeling bored siaa sitting at home, alone. Not many are online. I feel like going out. I think I wanna go out. Just dno where to and with who. Hahah! Everyone seems to have their own plan already. Gaaaah. Anyone wanna accompany me go mugging? Hahah! I'll do my own revision at home, I guess.
Today was a bit blurr for me. I daydreamt aloooot during lessons. Especially during Bio and Chem. Just what is bothering me man? Ok maybe I know what exactly is bothering me just that I kept denying its that something and insist on other things. Get it? Hahaha! Grrrrrrr! I wanna go out siaaaa. Im bored to death, I swear.
I'll make it clear once and for all, I have friends. Nice friends that is. Bestfriends, gerlfriends. No boyfriend. I am not in a relationship with anyone, neither am I progressing to be in one or whatsoever. Yes yes I know people talked here and there about me and someone. Well, if you were so unsure if I was attached or not, you're very very sure now, arent you? Stop assuming Im with someone even if there's little things here and there that might show Im with that someone. But seriously, Im not interested in being in a relationship. No really. Okayy that sounds so exaggerating I know. But Im not interested in this just yet. Not now. Get that in your head! Thankyou for being so concern all this while anyways. -____-
Monday, June 02, 2008.
Someone encouraged me to post about saturday. So here goes.Went out with a friend. We planned to study at first. Then changed our mind and decided to watch movie. And you guessed it right again! We changed our mind again and made up our mind to do both. ^^Firstly I waited for friend at the venue as planned. Waited for quite some time and I started to have all sorts of negative thoughts. Hahaha! Like what, you ask? Like.. I wont tell! So paisey siaa. Haha! But friend managed to show up despite how late friend was. As we waited for our train to arrive, we chat here and there ah. And this Angmoh woman have to interrupt our conversation here and there. Hahah! I didnt actually mind la but she kept interrupting siaa. How rude is that? lol. Fake fake. She asked friend for some help like how to get to the city that kind of thing. And friend just entertain her. After a while, friend said Angmoh-woman is like getting closer and nearer to friend. I said well maybe she doesnt have enough space on the other side of her.I said almost something like that. You dont expect me to remember every line I said that day, correct? Hahaha. But friend said, even so, she dont have to sit too close until her 'sides' bumped into friend. Friend was scared like mad! Hahahah! Lucikly our train arrived so we quickly got up and waited for the train to stop ah. But will waited for the door to slide open, Angmoh-woman got up too and sort of like entering the same door as us. So friend, being terribly freaked out by this woman, got us entering another door. Yeaa this time she did not follow us. Hahah! Lucky friend.Its gon' be me you and the dancefloor.Reached Yishun, I was trying so hard to convince myself that friend knows the place and wouldnt dare get ourselves lost. But it seemed like friend did not know where the cinema was located. We entered this mall and looked for the theater ah. Couldnt manage to find one. Finding the information counter was tough too. Somehow we manage to find the info-counter and friend asked the lady behind the counter. She said the mall doesnt have any cinemas, but the building behind the mall has one. So we eagerly made our way there. Along the way, spotted one of my Uncles but I did not acknowledge him since we're not close relative. Confirm no matter how hard I describe my father with maggie hair, and my mother with lame jokes, he wont even know me. Haha. So I just walked off. Managed to grab the tickets and the lady behind the counter said she had to give us the back row seats. I was like confirm full siaaa. All like seated already ah. Hahah. I dont mind actually. The movie started like 6 minutes before we entered all because of friend! Haha. Nahh not your fault. =DEntered the theater and friend was like, A-square siaa. Hahah. I was like confident already know, thats why ah! But when we enter, only a couple of seats were occupied. Pathetic or what? I asked friend, did we enter the right theater? Hahah! But it was the right one ah. So we just go ahead and watch the movie. 'Congkak' havent even started when we entered. All the commercials and stuff. I wont elaborate what happened during the movie. Friend dont want the secret to spread. Haha! I know you know that no one knows. lol! Movie eneded and we made our way to Woodlands Civic Library to mug there. We did our Maths and friend somehow managed to encourage me to give up even though I told myself not to. Haha. Bad bad friend. XD Then spotted this old man looking for books and friend claimed he's a member of mine. -______-And this boy? Kept walking to and fro, like soo annoying like that! And friend claimed he's another member of mine, again. (0.o)Feel the melody and the rhythm of the music around you, around you. (:Had our late lunch at LJS. The best part the best part! Hahaha! We managed to gossip while eating. Is that cool or what? Friend just cant stop finding faults with others. Haha. Of coz, I wont post about all the gossips la. Hahah. And we even talked about our 'beloved' class and the people. Hehh! Ok I can be mean at times la, but I dont like being mean ok! Its just not me. Cheychey, hahahha! No seriously, I just dont like being mean. I somehow put myself in other's shoe and feel for myself how the other party would feel. Yes yes, thats Marlie. XP Made our way home after lunch and yeaa. Thats it! Hahaha.How will I rate the date? Hmmmm. Lets just say I had equally great time and at the same time pissed off here and there. K fakeeeee! Hahah! No la the date was defintely great. Thanks for taking your time out to 'date' me ah, friend! Confirm not looking forward for another one siaa. XDIts like I 've waited my whole life, for this one night.
Sunday, June 01, 2008.
I want to post about saturday. But something's telling me not to. Why am I hesitating? Its just an outing with a random friend. I hate this. Syuuu! :(
Today was.. Well.. Uh.. Exciting? Hahaha! Whats so exciting about mugging? Well, firstly, there's Syuhaidah. I've told her everything. Thankyou Syuu for listening. You have no idea how much appreciated I am towards you. Secondly, the mugging was the only time I can get my mind of anything else but study. I really did feel like I was concentrating earlier on. Not that I wasnt able to concentrate on saturday. But saturday was the thing itself. Today was entirely different. I suddenly dont feel like elaborating any further. Go figure.
I learnt quite a number of so-called 'new' stuff in life. And all thanks to this schoolmate whom I will only acknowledge him as budak cute [cute kid in malay]. Well, he seemed to be in some kind of a problem which I used to, and still am I think, experience. I wont say what it is here. But I somehow dont understand why would people behave that way towards budak cute. He's so innocent and friendly and whatmore, funny. I think thats the problem with people nowadays. Like I said in my previous post. People love to insist on something they're so unsure of. Dont understand, never mind. Coz I dont expect you to understand anything here. If you're interested, well, thanks for taking your precious time of to understand.
See even now Im blabbing nonsense. Whats wrong with you, Marlie?
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BABIES BORN.
January
28th - Lee zara colleague
31st - Jacq L02baober cum pang ah lian
Febuary
12th - LATE ?
13th - Ammelia L02baober
23rd - Asidah L02baober cum cockuptwin
21th - Athirr gerlfys
24th - Nisa
March
1st - Mommy cum 'rents anni
2nd - Lala neighbour
11th - Ann kakak ;)
15th - Sufian chongkecik (upgrade)
18th - Phoebe L02
31st - Arziana twinny
31st - YOURS TRULY :DDD
April
17th - Cilong L02
26th - Amira gerlfys
29th - Poh Lay L02
May
16th - Ting Xin L02
26th - Shasha 2nd mei mei
31st - Guan Jie L02
June
16th - Hijjah ej love
24th - Nisah L02
26th - Kai Xin L02baober cum partner
27th - Ying Jie L02
30th - Sofie ? ta jie
30th - Shahiddin
July
5th - Syuuu gerlfys
7th - Shanky ;DDD
13th - Terence ;)))
August
7th - Farlini kak lynn love
14th - Sze Yee L02
19th - Afiqah L02baober cum kak iqah
20th - Kai Yun L02
26th - Keith L02
September
13th - Fatin kidd love
14th - Huda 4e2mate
20th - Yu Sheng L02
21st - Linn 1st mei mei
October
2nd - Derek L02
6th - Shiyi L02baober cum bestfriend
24th - Zura
26th - Gramma 66
November
17th - Hanim gerlfys cum bestie since 3 ;)
19th - Indra
December
12th - Michelle L02baober cum seashell
16th - Adina Tay Ah-Jie
"Oldest(:"
"And all I can say is hope you had fun spending the day with Baldyman" (: 
Happy SEXY Seventeenth, Muhammad Farhan Bin Zainuddin~!
"Happy Father's Day, Pa!"
Let me recap what I did for the past few days. Obviously I had fun hanging out with my beloved one. Made new friends along the way.
