BONJOUR.
ⓜ ⓐ ⓡ ⓛ . ⓔ
Chindon Malay.
31st March.
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Sunday, July 06, 2008.
Pictures for yesterday and days before yesterday will be uploaded 5 months from now. Same goes for me blogging again. I will visit this blog 5 months from now and by then this blog will be very very dusty. Im going to put everything aside for now, even when there's littlest things that is there to distract me, I will try my best not to get distracted. Im being disturbed evey night since that particular night. Therefore, I cant return home later than usual. I apologize to those who have to bear with this. But I can assure you its only going to be a short period of time. I swear I can go crazy with this things disturbing me every night. Im still staying strong no matter what. I wont give in and show my weaknesses. In fact, Im going to pull this through and be strong.
Prelims is just less then 2 months time. I will be lying to say that I've started my revision, coz I certainly havent. So I will say goodbye to my Laptop and ask Mom to keep it with her. Because my laptop is my biggest distraction of all. Hence, I am not going online anymore after this. Indra and Faye, dont forget to email me the pictures took at Sentosa! Will get someone to check my emails for me (:
Thursday, July 03, 2008.
'Something' bothered me last night. This is going to be one of a hell scary story, which happened to me. Last night. God. Im still being strong here to type all this words. *Taking in large amount of oxygen* Here goes.
It was unusual of me sleeping later than Sofie. Whenever Sofie slept first, I will feel so lonely and eventually I'll go to bed too soon after that. But yesterday was entirely different. When Sofie shut down her lappy, I knew she was going to bed. That was the sign for me to go to bed too, for every other nights if I was still awake. But after seeing her shutting down her lappy, I didnt even bother to shut down mine and go to bed. Instead, I happily continued doing my assignments and happily sing along with the song that is tuned on my laptop. I was feeling so relaxed. I find that kind'dof weird. Coz I never felt relaxed staying up alone all night.
It was 12 plus, 12.10am I think, that utter fatigue had took over. [Hahahaa yes, I included words that I've just learnt from my English Mid-year Paper. Utter fatigue = extreme tiredness] =D Hence, I shut down my lappy, packed my bag, and went to bed. I was already asleep when out of the blue.. Hahahahaa Im not sure if I can take this part. Its so indescribable. Let me think of the right words to feel in the blank. Out of the blue, I heard this irritating noise which sounded more like breathing. I wanted to assure myself that I wasnt dreaming, so I tried opening my eyes, which failed as a result. How is that so? I have no idea. I almost panicked, but I managed to calm myself down before getting myself panicked. I wanted to shout, for help, shout out of being so scared. But yes, you guessed it right again. I cant open my mouth too. Now thats when I expect myself to get all shocked and scared and panicked. Yes I was shocked, shocked that I was all calmed instead of panic. I was so calm that I told myself to recite the verse of Ayat Kursi and yeaa. I did quite a few times and slowly, i tried opening my eyes again.
This time, when I opened my eyes, the atmosphere was back to normal again. The breathing noises disappeared. I was still lying the way I was lying just that I was breathless. I looked over for Sofie and even thought of waking her up coz I feel like I needed some companion at that point of time. I didnt know why I was being so brave that time that when I looked at her all sound asleep, I let her be and tried going back to sleep. But the most weird thing about this was when I wanted to resume my sleep, I looked at the time. It was no where near 12.30am. Which means I was only asleep for a few minutes when all this happened. Not even a few hours of sleep? I was whaaaaaaats!?!??! Only 12.30am? While I was in the period where my eyes cant be opened, neither can my mouth, I had Raihanah on my mind. She told me what exactly happened to me, happens to her before. So yeaa, I am still ashaken by all this right now. I wasnt quite myself in school today. I was more than half dead, feeling sleepy here and there, feeling lazy. Coz what happened last night really bothers me alot. Sigh sigh sigh.
I told BB and he said it is ____ which is ON me, which might cause all this happenings. After I got home, after showering, I went into Mom's room and locked the door, coz I know if I didnt lock the door, gramms will be all ears. I told Mom everything and she said what BB said might be right. When gramms overheard our convo, she did some 'prayings' and even react during the Maghrib period. Around Isyak or so, Mom texted me and said that gramms told her something about my room which she will never tell me coz I wont be able to sleep if I were to know about it.
Now thats freaky. I think too much. I shouldnt be afraid of all this. I told myself from the beginning, that all this are just another creation of God's. Stay strong, and believe in nothing but God and only one God, which is Allah =)
I was invited to Sentosa this Saturday. Its gonna be a tiring weekend for me since tomorrow I'm going to be spending my evening at Nisa's. But I dont feel like coming for both event. Hahahaa. Whaaaaaaaats! I know right! Friday is a must, but Im just not in the mood to go to Nisa's. I've been keeping to myself alot lately. Lazy to go around sharing with people who dont seem to care. I feel bad if I dont turn up for tomorrow's event. At the same time, I cant make up my mind. Saturday is another story. Indra invited me for Sentosa trip through Sofie at first. Then through Shahiddin. Yeaa, through one is not enough must go through two people. Hahahhaa! I felt grateful for being invited. But I told myself I would study this Saturday. If I were to go Sentosa, my mind will be occupied with books and only books, never thought of having fun. lol. Me and Syahira was like being so excited about this and we even discussed about this during recess just now. Syahira thought of studying too. She suggested of not playing wet but bring books. I was like, hey good idea! Haaha. But Im still unsure if I want to go or not. Coz there's gonna be Indra's starbucks mates too whom I dont even know. I'll feel so left out. Sofie isnt sure about going too. Shall see how it goes.
I know I said the previous post would seemed like a last one. But yeaa, there's just too many to say. I'll burst anytime soon if I dont let it all out. Pfffft! Im looking forward for a movie date with lovely classmates. Maybe after our O's when everyone is officially 16 and we can all watch NC16? lol. Ilove4E2 very very much and this is so random =D
13th NOV (:
Tuesday, July 01, 2008.
"MISSED!"
I assume this is going to be my last post before going into the serious study mode. I'll try not to come online often. I'll try to reduce coming online. I'll try to avoid doing things which are unnessecary, not important nor is it urgent. The motivation talk last Wednesday got me thinking real hard. Actually, all the motivation talks so far were about the same. They really motivated me alot. I was just plain lazy. I have wake up now. Its all up to me to budge, or to remain cool about everything. I will put everything, mostly everything I must say, aside for now. I must concentrate and give my best for the upcoming major exams. I want to succeed in life. I want to repay Mom and Dad's effort with my own efforts. I want to show Dad that I can do it. I want to show his brothers and sisters that Im not to be bullied, not to be messed around with, the way they used to treat Dad. I just want to be the kind of daughter which their parents sees nothing but a bright future, happiness in their eyes. I've been disappointing the 'rents time and again. I think its time. Its time for me to start acting. Start all that is there to start since now is never yet too late. I have yet to start my revision for the seven subjects. Now that Malay is down but left with listening compre, there is still six more subjects to go. I feel like doing my Physics this Saturday. Solo muggers mugs well =D
I've got alot to say and I blogged today coz I wanted to say mostly everything down. But since I am suddenly not in the mood to type a composition, I'll leave that to whenever I come and visit this blog which will seem so dusty by then. XD
BB apologized. I was kind'dof shocked. Well, very shocked. It was so unexpcted of him to apologized out of the blue. But since he apologized for his wrong doings towards me, I'd feel like I too have to do my part and apologize. So basically, I dont know why in the world are we apologizing to one another. 0.o
Hahahhaa fake fake! Definitely I know why laaa. Hahahaa.
I like talking bout BB. There's always something to share about him. Maybe coz he's nice and all the nice things he did are just too nice for him? Hahaha wth. I just feel so blessed having to know this wonderful guy. =D
I enjoyed yesterday, but I did not enjoy today.
Labels: 13th NOV (:
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Febuary
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1st - Mommy cum 'rents anni
2nd - Lala neighbour
11th - Ann kakak ;)
15th - Sufian chongkecik (upgrade)
18th - Phoebe L02
31st - Arziana twinny
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17th - Cilong L02
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16th - Ting Xin L02
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16th - Hijjah ej love
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26th - Kai Xin L02baober cum partner
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30th - Sofie ? ta jie
30th - Shahiddin
July
5th - Syuuu gerlfys
7th - Shanky ;DDD
13th - Terence ;)))
August
7th - Farlini kak lynn love
14th - Sze Yee L02
19th - Afiqah L02baober cum kak iqah
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26th - Keith L02
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13th - Fatin kidd love
14th - Huda 4e2mate
20th - Yu Sheng L02
21st - Linn 1st mei mei
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2nd - Derek L02
6th - Shiyi L02baober cum bestfriend
24th - Zura
26th - Gramma 66
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17th - Hanim gerlfys cum bestie since 3 ;)
19th - Indra
December
12th - Michelle L02baober cum seashell
16th - Adina Tay Ah-Jie
"MISSED!"